Lost in Translation II – Misadventures in English

English is the global language of communication which means that when it collides with local languages it can have hilarious results. Here we’ve gathered together the results of some of the planets finest misadventures in English … enjoy!

Jakarta, Indonesia:

Wondering where to eat? Grill and roast your clients! Open for lunch, dinner and Sunday brunch.

Nairobi, Kenya:

Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

Various Replies from German hotels in response to enquiries about accommodation:

Standing among savage scenery the hotel offers stupendous revelations. There is a French widow in every bedroom, affording delightful prospects. ~ I give personal look to the interior wants of each guest. Here you shall be well fed up, and agreeably drunk. ~ Peculiar arrangements for gross parties. ~ Our motto is ‘ever serve you right’. A hotel should be a home from home. But then again, it’s at home where most deaths occur.

Instructions on Japanese driving rules:

At the rise of the hand of the policeman, Mop rapidly. Do not pass him, otherwise disrespect him. Do not explosion the exhaust pipe. Avoid entanglement with your wheel spoke. Go soothingly on the grease mud as there lurks a skid demon.

Jeweller’s window, India:

We shoot earholes.

Japanese public bath:

Foreign guests are requested not to pull cock in tub

Greek deodorant stick:

Push up bottom.

On a Japanese tourist map:

Shitseeing Bus Stop.

Notice in a sleeping carriage on Indian train:

Do not invite thieves to sleep in the floor

Indonesian travel brochure

If we are lucky we will see duck boys home, men massaging their cocks on the road, cow boys taking grass. Yes it is a wonderful experience.

In a travel agency in Barcelona, Spain.

Go away.

Sign at the ferry terminal in Davao, Philippines:

Adults: 1 USD Child: 50 cents Cadavers: subject to negotiation.