cartoon pilot

Below are some maintenance complaints and problems made by pilots from the Australian airline QANTAS…and the rather cheeky responses the engineers and ground crew gave.


P – The problem, as logged by the pilot. S – The solution, as logged by the engineers.
 
P – Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S – Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
 
P – Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S – Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
 
P – Something loose in cockpit.
S – Something tightened in cockpit.
 
P – Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S – Evidence removed.
 
P – DME volume unbelievably loud.
S – Volume set to more believable level.
 
P – Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S – That’s what they are there for.
 
P – IFF inoperative.
S – IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
 
P – Suspected crack in windscreen.
S – Suspect you’re right.
 
P – Number 3 engine missing.
S – Engine found on right wing after brief search.
 
P – Aircraft handles funny.
S – Aircraft warned to ‘Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious.’
 
P – Target radar hums.
S – Reprogrammed target radar with words.
 
P – Mouse in cockpit.
S – Cat installed.