Milligan’s Magical Mirth

Tell me little woodworm
Eating thru the wood.
Surely all that sawdust
Can’t do you any good.

Heavens! Little woodworm
You’ve eaten all the chairs
So that’s why poor old Grandad’s
Sitting outside on the stairs.

There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in,
But they’re ever so small
That’s why rain is thin.

Through every nook and every cranny
The wind blew in on poor old Granny;
Around her knees, into each ear
(And up her nose as well, I fear).

All through the might the wind grew worse,
It nearly made the vicar curse.
The top had fallen off the steeple
Just missing him (and other people).

It blew on man; it blew on beast.
It blew on nun; it blew on priest.
It blew the -wig off Auntie Fanny —
But most of all, it blew on Granny!

On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bang !
And the Monkeys all say Boo!
There’s a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping !
And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang !
And you just can’t catch ’em when they do
So it’s Ning Nang Nong !
Cows go Bang!
Nong Nang Ning!
Trees go Ping!
Nong Ning Nang!
The mice go Clang!
What a noisy place to belong.
Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong !

Elephants are contagious!
Be careful how you tread.
An Elephant that’s been trodden on
Should be confined to bed.

Leopards ue contagious too.
Be careful tiny tots.
They don’t give you a temperature
But lots and lots – of spots.

The Herring is a lucky fish.
From all disease inured.
Should he be ill when caught at sea;
Immediatly – he s cured’.

‘What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?’
‘A Bongaloo, Son, said I,
Is a tall bag of cheese
Plus a Chinaman’s knees
And the leg of a nanny goat’s eye.’

How strange is a Bongaloo, Daddy?’
‘As strange as strange,’ I replied.
‘When the sun’s in the West
It appears in a vest
Sailing out with the noonday tide.’

‘What shape is a Bongaloo, Daddy?’
“The shape, my Son, I’ll explain:
It’s tall round the nose
Which continually grows
In the general direction of Spain.’

‘Are you sure there’s a Bongaloo, Daddy?’
‘Am I sure. my Son?’ said I.
‘Why. I’ve seen it, not quite
On a dark sunny night
Do you think that I’d tell you a lie?’

Maveric Prowles
Had Rumbling Bowles
That thundered in the night.
It shook the bedrooms all around
And gave the folks a fright.

The doctor called;
He was appalled
When through his stethoscope
He heard the sound of a baying hound,
And the acrid smell of smoke.

Was there a cure ?
The higher the fewer,
The learned doctor said,
Then turned poor Maveric inside out
And stood him on his head.

‘Just as I thought
You ve been and caught
An Asiatic flu –
You mustn’t go near dogs I fear
Unless they come near you.’

Poor Maveric cried.
He went cross-eyed,
His legs went green and blue.
The doctor hit him with a club
And charged him one and two.

And so my friend
This is the end,
A warning to the few:
Stay clear of doctors to the end
Or they’ll get rid of you.