Out of the mouths of babes oft times come gems – some more school test funnies

As the saying goes “Out of the mouths of babes oft times come gems” … and those gems can sometimes be extremely hilarious indeed. We’ve gathered together some of the things that children have written at school in response to various tests.

According to the Bible, Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

The theme of The Catcher in the Rye is that Holden Caulfield leaves the world of childhood and enters the world of adultery.

Rambo was a famous French poet

The Black Hole in Calcutta was a small dark prison with ninety men and only one widow in it. In the morning all the men were dead.

This book belongs in the anals of English literature.

You may be imprisoned if you use mallet and forethought.

The roe and the emu are prehistoric animals now extant

The scarlet letter griped me intensely.

Defoe write simply and sometimes crudely

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines

Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

Madman Curie discovered the radio.

In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.

Author: Robert

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