Out of the mouths of babes oft times come gems

As the saying goes “Out of the mouths of babes oft times come gems” … and those gems can sometimes be extremely hilarious indeed. We’ve gathered together some of the things that children have written at school in response to tests.


In India a man in one cask cannot marry a woman in another cask


Chaucer was the father of English pottery


Another of the commandments is ‘Thou shalt not kick a duckery’


The Nomans introduced the frugal system


When Queen Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted ‘hurrah’. Then her navy went and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.


One of the causes of Revolutionary war was the English put tacks in their tea.


The bowels are A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes W and Y.


In Spring the lambs can be seen gambling in the fields.


Blessed are the meek, for they shall irrigate the earth.


Unaware means the clothes we put on first.


Drake circumcised the world in a small ship.


‘Hell hath no fury like a woman’s corn!’


A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene angle.


Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote.


Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis


Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.


Dickens spent his youth in prison because his father’s celery was cut off


In the United States people are always put to death by elocution.


Low wages paid by farmers were responsible for the Pheasants’ Revolt


What horrible deed did the Black Prince do at Limoges? He massaged all the people.


A noun should be declined and a verb should be congratulated.


Q: Use nitrates in a sentence A: Night rates are cheaper than day rates.


A ruminating animal is one that chews its cubs.

Author: Robert

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